Tattooed Lady: Paddy Roberts

Oh, I was a bit of a lad, I admit.
My past was a trifle shady,
Until in the end I went right round the bend
And married a tattooed lady.

I immediately saw there were pictures galore
Round ev’ry available corner.
As I studied her frame very soon I became
An expert in flora and fauna.

On the back of each knee was a small chimpanzee.
On her thigh was a Knight of the Garter,
And just for a laugh, they had put on her calf
Eight bars of the Moonlight Sonata.

One evening I found as I ambled around,
I was feeling an absolute Charlie,
‘Cause I couldn’t be sure if the sketch on her jaw,
Was Picasso or Salvador Dali.

Some things I found out I just won’t talk about;
I find it’s inclined to embarrass.
But I give you my word, though it may sound absurd,
It was just like the Louvre in Paris.

On one of her feet you are liable to meet
A master of hounds in his habit,
And right round her waist in impeccable taste
Was a python devouring a rabbit.

I loved all the ships on one side of her hips,
The view in Peru on the other,
But I was struck dumb when I found on her tum,
A caricature of her Mother.

For this was much more than a man can endure,
Though I made the most earnest endeavor,
So I scuffled away, and I’m happy to say,
It was tat-a-tattoo forever,
Tat-a-tattoo forever,
Tat-a-tattoo forever.

Paddy Roberts

Tattooed Lady

Sadly, I haven’t been able to find a version with Paddy Roberts singing it himself, but here an admirer does his best. Can you do better? :>)