Monthly Archives: March 2013

The Gas Man Cometh: Flanders and Swann

‘Twas on a Monday morning The Gas-Man came to call; The gas tap wouldn’t turn – I wasn’t getting gas at all. He tore out all the skirting boards To try and find the main, And I had to call … Continue reading

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A Clerihew On Columbus: Edmund Clerihew Bentley

“I quite realized,” said Columbus, “That the Earth was not a rhombus, But I am a little annoyed To find it an oblate spheroid.” Edmund Clerihew Bentley 1875-1956 Columbus (1929) The illustration is copyright: Tania A via Shutterstock  

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Napoleon and Josephine: Noel Coward

She very soon married this short young man Who talked about soldiers all day But who wasn’t above Making passionate love In a coarse, rather Corsican way. Noel Coward 1899-1973 Josephine (1946) The illustration is Consecration of the Emperor Napoleon … Continue reading

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The Power Of Positive Thinking: Charles Inge

This very remarkable man Commends a most practical plan: You can do what you want If you don’t think you can’t So don’t think you can’t think you can. Revd Charles Inge 1868-1957 ‘On Monsieur Coué‘ (1928) The illustration is … Continue reading

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Mothers-In-Law: Lord Byron

I should, many a good day, have blown my brains out, but for the recollection that it would have given pleasure to my mother-in-law; and even then, if I could have been certain to haunt her… Lord Byron 1788-1824 Letter, … Continue reading

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You’re The Top: Cole Porter

At words poetic, I’m so pathetic That I always have found it best, Instead of getting them off my chest, To let ’em rest unexpressed, I hate parading my serenading As I’ll probably miss a bar, But if this ditty … Continue reading

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Cooking Omelettes: Hilaire Belloc

Be content to remember that those who can make omelettes properly can do nothing else. Hilaire Belloc 1870-1953 A Conversation With A Cat (1931) The illustration is copyright: Francesco83 via Shutterstock

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Aunt Dot And Her Camel: Rose Macaulay

‘Take my camel, dear’, said my Aunt Dot, as she climbed down from this animal on her return from High Mass. Rose Macaulay 1881-1958 The Towers of Trebizond 1956 This is one of the most famous opening lines of a … Continue reading

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Being Gruntled: P G Wodehouse

He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. P G Wodehouse 1881-1975 The Code of the Woosters 1938 The illustration is copyright: Ryan Jorgensen … Continue reading

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The Remedy Worse Than The Disease: Matthew Prior

I sent for Ratcliffe, was so ill, That other doctors gave me over, He felt my pulse, prescribed his pill, And I was likely to recover. But when the wit began to wheeze, And wine had warm’d the politician, Cured … Continue reading

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