Miss Otis regrets she’s unable to lunch today, Madam.
Miss Otis regrets she’s unable to lunch today.
She is sorry to be delayed,
But last evening down in Lover’s Lane she strayed.
Madam.
Miss Otis regrets she’s unable to lunch today.
When she woke up and found, that her dream of love was gone.
Madam.
She ran to the man who had led her so far astray.
And from under a velvet gown,
She drew a gun and shot her lover down,
Madam.
Miss Otis regrets she’s unable to lunch today.
When the mob came and got her and dragged her from the jail,
Madam,
They strung her from the old willow cross the way.
And the moment before she died,
She lifted up her lovely head and cried,
Madam.
Miss Otis regrets she’s unable to lunch today.
Miss Otis regrets… she’s unable to lunch today.
This is a song by Cole Porter.
Ratiocinativa 
My favourite version of this classic is by Ella Fitzgerald; but I’m also attached to a very early (the original?) rendition by the British performer Douglas Byng. Before launching into the verses above, he intones: “This is James the butler calling”, putting the song into context.
Thank-you for commenting, Stephen. I also like the Ella Fitzgerald, but I’m saving her for so many other songs (Don’t Fence Me In first, I think). Dougie Byng, I wonder when that would have been (I knew a great friend of his, Clifford Mollison). Here he is: http://youtu.be/kgrMfMwLGEg